As a queer femme, I struggle to find myself represented in media, in communities and in life. I’m constantly excluded, judged as straight, and not taken seriously because I look girly. I’m not welcome at queer parties, and not thought of as a serious partner for dating and sex (re: bisexual phobia + erasure). My femininity is a core part of my sexual identity and my queerness, not me being complacent in heterosexual and gender norm pigeonholing. No Queer Girls Are Queerer Than Others: Resisting Femme Invisibility, is a great write up worth a read.
Most people don’t think femme when they hear the word dyke. Femininity is often read as an indicator of a woman’s presumed heterosexuality—and most people don’t know just how queer femininity can be. But there are many ways of being femme.
–No Queer Girls Are Queerer Than Others: Resisting Femme Invisibility