Can porn be feminist if based off male desires?

It’s no secret that I film porn. Nor that I take requests for custom smutty photos and videos. Apparently because of the later fact my pornography isn’t feminist. How could my pornography be feminist, take women into consideration, and be about female pleasure if I’m not actively fulfilling my own personal sexual desires, and instead catering to the menz? Easily. Because it’s not that simple, and thats not whats going on.

What makes pornography feminist or not, and if porn can ever be considered feminist at all are both topics that have been brought up time and time again. It’s not a topic I wish to rehash. Obviously I believe porn can be feminist. What makes it so differs a lot, but my following list of points give some reasons as to why I think my self filmed pornography is feminist.

To start with, I want to cover a few basic things:

• I’m the woman in my porn videos.
• I’m a woman, direct all my films and often film them myself.
• I am not being forced, coerced, tricked, gamed, or anything along those lines to act, direct and film.
• My productions are safe, sane and consensual.
• I am not harmed during production.
• I choose what, when, how and with whom I film.
• I am not objectified by the filming (other people objectifying me on film or day to day life isn’t something I can control. it’s got nothing to do with me or my work, and all about other people.)
• I take requests. I am however not obligated to. There are requests I have turned down in the past, and I’m sure there are some I’ll turn down in the future.
• I am very lucky for all of the above. That doesn’t mean I’m irrelevant from the conversation, or “too privileged” to be apart of the conversation (esp. when it comes to my own damned work!). If I wasn’t so privileged anti-pornography advocates would still try and deny me my agency, telling me I don’t have it good enough to be able to speak or make my own choices. When I talk about these topics, I’m talking about myself, and my work. Each to their own.

 

What makes anyone think the requests I take are just from men? Because you’d be wrong.

On that note, so what if it was just men I filmed requests for? Does gender make a difference to if taking requests for porn is feminist or not? If you believe it’s still feminist and ok to take requests if they are from women, trans* or queer people, but not from men, then I urge you to take a look at yourself and your prejudices. Feminism doesn’t exclude men in that fashion, but at the same time it’s not about them. It’s about women. This porn, MY porn, is about ME.  Not everyone is interested in men, or wants to take requests from them and that’s fine. But I am, and alongside people of many genders, I do also take requests from men. Deal with it. Catering to CIS women, trans*, queer folks, or people of any type is simply how business works. Everyone needs a market. My market is everyone who is old enough and likes my stuff. If having a market isn’t feminist, well… that a discussion for the marxist rad fems which I don’t care to have

No one has the right to dictate my sex life & that doesn’t change because a camera is involved, and because the people consensually making sexual requests and queries of me aren’t in a hetero-normative, monogamous relationship with me.

Ihave the right to choose my partners and which sexual acts, if any, I perform. If a partner asks me if I’d like to do something, or tells me that they really like to do something, I have the right to say Yes, or No to that sexual act or encounter. I also have the right to change my mind if I decide it’s not for me. “Hey, do you want to try anal?” or “Can I smother you in peanut butter and suck your toes?” or “Will you beat me with a cane while demanding I confess my sins and beg for penance?” are all things I have the right to choose to participate in. It’s no more sexist or anti-feminist for people online to ask me for requests than it is my personal sexual partners. I’ve specifically asked to be sent requests, and so I receive them.

Just because someone is asking me to do something sexually that I didn’t think of / imagine by myself doesn’t mean I’m not being true to my sexual needs, desires and self. Nor does it mean I’m not into it whatever it is being requested (or soon WILL be into!)

Among other things I am a shoe, cyborg, and forced orgasm fetishist. Some of my fetishes I came across by myself, discovering by chance encounter or seemingly random, unprovoked places like dreams. Others I developed through experiences with others. Perhaps a request by a sexual partner, sometimes through gaining pleasure in experiences that just naturally happened.

Just because an experience happened “naturally” doesn’t mean it was better/more profound/more authentic to me sexually than if a partner made a request of me. It’s about the experience, how I felt about it, and what it meant to me. Fetishes apply for the the same way. As hard as it is for people to believe, I actually like taking requests. I mean, I LIKE it.

 

Similarly to how I find sex in new locations exhilarating, love being entertained and surprised during sex (in appropriate ways which my partners know about and act on responsibility), I thoroughly enjoy new ideas when it comes to sex, sexuality, roleplaying and filming. As a creative person, I’ve always enjoyed collaborating with others, from brainstorming team work projects at school or in the office, coordinating events and decor, to multi artist paintings, projects and collages. I thrive off working and creating with others. My favorite parts of my non adult industry creative life have been acting in roles and plays written by friends and colleagues, which is exactly the same as what I’m doing now, except now my films are related to sex. And yet, no one I’ve met has told me acting in my friends plays or performing their songs wasn’t feminist, true to my real self or desires, or that it was exploitative.

Sometimes it has it’s downsides (bar hair days anyone?), but for me selectively taking requests and playing out different personas and roles from dominatrix, captive victim and superhero vixen, to exploring new fetishes and playing with new technical editing skills, for me is awesome and fulfilling.

It’s an outlet for me to safely, freely and consensually discover and explore my sexuality, and to me that is feminist.