Last week was incredibly busy! 2 workshops with the renowned Satomi Zpira, who specializes in rope bdsm and femdom, and I got to help out during Mistress Ambrosia Noir’s private suspension bondage lesson! I also had some shoots, pc problems and a few funny wardrobe malfunctions, but those things I’ll talk about another time. I also finally got to meet Bliss, who I’ve been meaning to tee up a shoot with, only to find out shes leaving the country! Noooo! I’ll just have to wait to meet up with her in Japan, after she gets back from her travels in Europe. Watch out Japan, it seems a lot of us are coming your way!

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It was an intimidating crowd for my first workshop; Expressing Feminine Dominance through Rope.I was quite nervous heading in. Thinking about fetish fun, femdom, shibari, and watching kinky porn, is very different to actually leaving the house to talk, watch, learn and do it! My confidence was waning a little, as I saw the guest list for my first event was full of pro-dommes and well-to-do’s in the local fetish community. We even had a guests from across the country joining us for the event. Being a first timer among-st so much amazing talent made me feel like I shouldn’t be there, but I knew that was just my nerves, and I wasn’t going to let that stand in my way of doing what I really wanted to do for once!

I decided to treat myself to a relaxing morning, taking my time to bathe, dress up, primp and preen, and mentally prepare myself. I do honestly believe sometimes little queues that I enjoy like makeup, heels, and an outfit that makes me look amazing is enough to help set my mood and bolster confidence.

Setting the mood for yourself can be as easy as feeling you look good.

Setting the mood for yourself can be as easy as feeling you look good.

The event itself was just what I needed to start. Especially in my chosen and beloved field of pornography, a lot of people associate dominance, power, and anything to do with strength or kink, with dicks. With the phallic. With muscles, and all things considered the ever elusive “masculine”. I find I watch many women attempt to be more “masculine” to assert their dominance, when they are often clearly not into it, and this “masculine” stereotype isn’t their persona. They appear to simply be mimicking societies warped views of power = “male”.

In my last post “From Porn-Sweetheart to Sweet Sadist: My journey into BDSM” I talked a little about how I never considered myself dominant, because I didn’t fill I fit the stereotype of what it meant to be dominant.

I’m not tall, broad, large or imposing by my size. I’m not strong or muscular, in fact, even for a feminine woman I have incredibly delicate and dainty hands, wrists, ankles, feet, calves and neck. I can’t lift a fully grown person about my head, or pin them down without assistance (from something like rope *wink*). My voice isn’t low, gruff, or growly. I’m not gruff and tough Ms. Military hardass like a cliche macho man- and that is what this workshop was all about.

Dominance isn’t about gender, although it can be, it isn’t inherently. Femininity is not weakness and if you desire, it can be your strength- and your weapon.

My next workshop with Satomi was a 101 bondage lesson, where I learned to tie a basic quick release knot, and how to be delicate, graceful, and efficient in my hand work. Moving and manipulating the rope feels rather alien, but the more I play with it, the more confident and smooth I am in using it. I’ve already seen progress and it’s been a week! I’m lucky I have a plaything to practice on, but I think I’ll start searching for another rope bunny soon so I don’t overwork my lovely victims… I mean volunteers!

I also learned to do a basic chest harness for the base of suspension, but I got no photo of my handiwork. I was too focused on the working itself. However, luckily for me Mistress Ambrosia invited me to help her during her private lesson on suspension, and she is testing and perfecting the same harness I’m starting out on! Keen to see what it felt like to be tied and suspended myself, so I could better understand the experience, I was glad to help her out as a rope model.

Aeryn Walker in bondagechest harness for suspension as tied by Satomi Zpira

I was in total awe of the speed and grace at which Satomi tied me. I didn’t expect any less from her reputation and what I’d already seen, but still. Awe! It was a great experience.

It was my first time being suspended. I have thin arms with almost no arm muscles, so even with a wider rope and more surface area covered, it was a bit painful and dug in. I’m going to have to start pumping some iron to bulk up my arms a little I think, because while I was only up in the air for a few minutes while Satomi explained this and that to Ambrosia, it was a new angle on the world for me! (Yes, you may judge me all you like for that pun. I love terrible puns and I don’t care who knows it.) The lack of control when not only bound, but off center and off the ground was humbling and heart racing. I think I’ve found a new hobby, and a goal to work towards.

Femdom Bondage Babes: Ambrosia Noir & Satomi Zpira

Femdom Bondage Babes: Ambrosia Noir & Satomi Zpira

There was no time for snaps of my suspension. It wasn’t my lesson and time,  and to be honest, if a camera was around in that moment it might have distracted me. It would have been a shame to have had my head in any other place than in the moment, so I’m glad.

I had a great time, and learned so much from my workshops, watching my friend and a new idol work and talk, and from swinging around off the ground, with a 10 mile wide grin like a cheshire cat.ambrosiaropes