W4W- CIS Women seeking Female Dominatrix & Sex Workers

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In this post we are talking about CIS women who are would-be-clients, who wish to see CIS women for sexual or non sexual fetish kink services.

Seeking intimacy is tough for anyone, but especially so for women.  Most women I know are used to being judged. We have been judged if we dare partake in sex, judged for if we enjoy it, or not as the case may be. We will be judged for how we have sex, and who we decide to be intimate with. We will be judged for our bodies. Many of us have been told if we “can’t handle the heat” (abusive and toxic comments and attitudes about our bodies, our libidos, fetishes, preferences, sexual orientation, etc), we should “get out of the kitchen” (stay out of the sex spotlight. No sex for you if you aren’t perfect enough or you Deserve abuse apparently) We are then expected to starve, carve, strip, bleach, medicate, and defile ourselves til we are suitable to be consumed sexually. Or just suck it up and learn to love the abuse. It can leave us feeling shamed for simply existing and solidify the idea that we should be grateful for getting whatever is given to us. It’s not exactly a great mental starting place to think about personal sexual satisfaction, intimacy and exploration.

Society says sex should be free on demand for women. We are told it’s normal for men to be rejected for sex, but there must be something really wrong with you if you are a CIS woman and you get turned down. Women are considered to be above ‘having’ to pay for sex.

I receive lots of questions about CIS women, often straight identifying women, about sessioning with Femdoms. I decided to ask some professional BDSM Sex Workers, Mistresses, & Kinksters. Today I’ve asked Mistress Eva, and I’m incredibly grateful for her time. I hope her answers are helpful to you.

 

 

 

Mistress Eva

Follow Mistress Eva:
youwillpleaseme.com

Is it normal for a woman to want to see a Dominatrix or BDSM professional? Is it common?

Mistress Eva:
It seems perfectly normal to me. But in terms of it being common. It is not as common as I would like – at least in terms of my professional sex work career. I have played with many women in my private life, however I can count the number of women who have come to see me professionally on one hand. This is over six years, worldwide. However, since I started bringing my (personal) slave girl into doubles session with me, and advertising as such – I have gotten more CIS women members on my slave training site, and had more session applications from them too.
Let me also say that I have hired many CIS women sex workers over the years. Both in my private and professional sex work life. They have added to my experience and understanding in ways that I could not have achieved as readily without their professional awareness.

Am I exploiting women by wanting to see a female sex worker or femdom? How do I know?

 

Mistress Eva:
As a professional Femdom and sex worker I have never felt exploited. My working conditions, schedule and rates have always been determined by me. Even when I have worked on premises or with an agency. My time and focus has always been in my hands. If you hire me you are in fact adding to my wellbeing, income and to the development of my craft. Thank you!
I have had the benefit of working and running my business out of a decriminalised state but regardless of legal status many in my international network still operate just as I do. As solo entrepreneurs with more agency and bodily autonomy than society wants to give us or give us credit for.
However if you wanted to be more assured there are many options. In a decriminalised or legalised state you could go to a licensed and reputable premises and chat to the workers before you decide who you would like to hire, this is common practice on premises. If you would rather see a private/independent sex worker, you can take your time to browse listings and get to know them online through their social media profiles, looking at their networks, website and reviews.  Most would welcome a chat beforehand and some may do so with a small tribute/fee. You could be polite yet direct and briefly ask about how their business is structured, are they private or with an agency – are they happy with their set up, etc. As workers our business is to create a safe space for you, and as long as you respect our time we are happy to lay the foundation for it. You can help establish both legitimacy and ascertain potential rapport this way.

Is Gay For Pay unethical? I’m straight, is it ok to hire a Woman? Is it wrong to be straight but demand a bisexual or gay sex worker to see me?

Mistress Eva:
I’m going to say absolutely not wrong! Although in best case you’d be making a request based on preference rather than a demand to see them. As I’ve mentioned, a crucial part of our job is to create that safe space from where sexual satisfaction and connection is better experienced. Communicating and addressing your preferences are crucial to this process.
It is great that you are aware of how you’re feeling about the potential experience. This is where honest conversations start and where the most satisfying results emerge.
Many of us list our sexual preferences and orientations on our profiles. Please choose who you feel aligns with your needs best, this is why we put the information out there – or feel free to ask if you don’t find the information you need available. You can also always reach out and be honest – as sex workers we are often so experienced in knowing how awkward your first time, and any time can be. Just tell us how you’re feeling, tell us what you hope for, tell us what you’re hesitant about – and we will actually appreciate it. Please again respect our time, but after a few messages you both will have more of an understanding of each other – and if you’d like to go ahead.
I’m going to also throw in that personally I believe that gender and sexual preferences are fluid; and that boundaries come in all sorts of configurations, and can always change. This opinion comes from years of personal ‘soul searching’ and professional exposure to sexuality on a regular basis. So please don’t be afraid to experience or mention what you might see as conflicting preferences. If a sex worker has been working for a few years on a regular basis, it is likely they’ve experienced my understanding in some form as well.

I’m not sure how to orgasm but it’s my goal. How can a sex worker help?

Mistress Eva:
A sex worker can help you achieve or work towards your goal of orgasm. We generally have had more experience with orgasm amongst a range of different minds and bodies; which helps us in building a wider repertoire on how to achieve such results.
This could be as physical as an understanding of what areas and types of touch work best according to your response; or it could be about getting to know each other until enough trust builds in order to facilitate relaxation and a physical reaction.
We could also help to create a space where you can tell us about desires that you may not have felt comfortable sharing before. Recognising and addressing these desires could also help. I particularly love the ‘negotiation’ process of my sessions, where I get to find out about where you’ve come from, your desires and where we could go from there. This is commonly a feature of BDSM play but straight sex workers can often welcome it to. Feel free to tell us what does get you hot, it will really help us. You can even try it first from the anonymity of an email if you need to. It could open things up for you to achieve orgasm sooner than you imagined.

 


Thank you Mistress Eva.

You can Follow Mistress Eva at her websites below.

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